Dangerously In Love
by Areh
Summary: Jean mourns for Scott on the day of his funeral. Jott


**Dangerously In Love**

This is just a small one-shot that I've had in the back of my mind for a while.

Jott / PG-13 / After X3 / Jean's POV

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the X-Men.

**Summary:** Jean mourns for Scott on the day of his funeral.

Resurrection. The act of rising from the dead or returning to life. The state of one who has returned to life. Bringing back to practice, notice, or use.

Revival. I had revived. It was that simple statement in which drained me of my thoughts. I was back again; back to create more chaos and violence. I would kill the ones close and dear to me. I'd watch as this being inside me ripped them apart until I can take no more. This presence. It was inside, but I couldn't do anything about it. It controlled me and I had to deal with it. But not now. I can't feel it, it's not here anymore. I'm all alone as I stand in this grassy field, my eyes fixed on the large iron gates before me. 'Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters.' It was where I used to belong. _Used to._

My petite body squeezed between the two gates as I closed it softly behind me. I continued to walk forward, my small heels clicking on the stoned floor below me. I kept looking ahead, my green eyes not traveling to my surroundings.

In front of the large mansion was a small set up. A few chairs for all the students and teachers, a podium with a microphone and the grey tombstone. A breath escaped my lips. A tombstone— Scott's tombstone. Scott's death, murderer; I killed him. I quickly brought a hand to my temple and rubbed it softly. I wouldn't let this start again, not today

I sighed when I finally arrived at the front door, dreading what wait inside for me. I was asked to run a few errands. Probably to clear my mind and get out of my room. Our room.

"You're back, finally." I heard a feminine voice say to me as I walked into the mansion. "Let me help you." She added quickly, taking one of the filled plastic bags from my hand. I carried the other with me and followed her into the kitchen. It was empty, except for Logan who was looking out the window. I sighed again, everyone looked so nice. He was in black dress pants and a dark red shirt. It was buttoned up neatly and the collar was smoothed out around his neck. His hair was neatly combed back and gelled. He had shaved as well and I could small the faintest scent of cologne. I didn't realize I had zoned out.

"Jean, you okay?" Said the feminine voice again. I looked up at her, giving a weak smile.

"I'll be fine, Ororo. It's just a rough day for me… that's all." I reassured her as I started to empty the bags. I never really liked to talk about my feelings, I usually kept to myself. I only opened up to Scott and the Professor at times. But today, I would save it. I would save all my emotion and strength until it was needed. I promised myself that. I promised I wouldn't cry or break down until that moment. "I think I'm going to go lay down. Wake me up when it's time." I said simply, walking out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

When I arrived into my bedroom I quickly closed the door behind me and locked it with my telekinesis. I sat down on the bed and removed my heels from my aching feet. Sighing, I looked around. So many memories have been made here. I cherished each one.

I suddenly bit my lip, trying to contain a sob in my throat. No, I promised I wouldn't cry. I closed my eyes and fell back onto the soft bed and got under the covers. I always stayed on my side even thought Scott wasn't here anymore. I respected him enough.

I breathed in through my nose slowly and let the air out through my mouth. I can still smell him. But I couldn't think of that now, it would only upset me more. So I took my long red hair out of its tie and closed my eyes again, hoping to fall into a sleep that consisted of no nightmares.

**Two Hours Later**

"Should I wake her up?" Asked Ororo, the goddess of weather. Her brown eyes flickered up to Logan's strong form, wondering what he was thinking. She cleared her throat loudly when she realized he wasn't paying attention. "Logan!"

"What? Oh, sorry. I didn't hear ya." He replied gruffly, turning his attention to the exotic woman before him. "What did you say?" But she only sighed and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I asked if I should wake her up. I'm not sure though, it starts in a half hour. But, this is probably the most sleep she's gotten in days."

He stood up from the window seat, placing his soda bottle on the wooden table. "I'll go get her." With that, Logan walked out and up the stairs to my bedroom. He arrived shortly and knocked softly, not wanting to stir me suddenly. When he received no reply he turned the doorknob, realizing it was locked as well.

Logan sighed, leaning his forehead against the door frame. "Jean" He spoke softly, "Jean wake up, it starts in a half hour." He pressed his ear against the door to listen for any moment. Sure enough he heard the sound of bed covers being thrown and my feet touching the wooden floor. The doorknob them clicked and he pushed it open.

"You okay in here?" He asked with concern, looking up at my face. I probably looked like the walking dead. I glanced to a mirror that leaned against a nearby wall. My eyes were red and puffy, there were dark circles under my eyes, I was thin— to thin and slightly pale. I ran my fingers through my long red hair, trying to tame it. "I'm fine."

"Alright, if you say so." He replied, not taking his eyes off me. With that he closed the door and I locked it behind him. I glanced at my clock, great I had twenty minutes.

After taking a fast shower I let my hair dry. Since it was naturally straight I just combed it a few times to get out the knots and tangles. I grabbed my black, knee length pencil skirt and a black blouse. When I finished with that I put on my usual jewelry, making sure I placed my engagement ring on perfectly. I slipped my black heels back on and walked out the room.

When I got downstairs it seemed everyone was in the same attire. All in black, some with colors but were still dark. I tried to avoid everyone and quickly made my way outside. More people were there. Some were already crying and others just sat and talked. I didn't feel like speaking to anyone, no one would understand. I sat in the second row, farthest away from all the others. I guess everyone followed me out because it started to get crowded. Most of the children were sitting and some of the teachers and adults stood up on the sides or in the back.

I must have zoned out because when I came back to earth it had already started. Ororo was saying a few words, usually what a priest would say at a funeral. I just stared ahead, trying not to listen. When she finished bringing up a few memories of Scott I saw her return to her seat. The Professor then rolled up to the podium, taking the microphone off of it so it could reach his height.

How he survived, it was a mystery to me. He had mentioned taking his mind and placing it in another's body. Hank had helped him with the next procedure. He took the remains of the ashes from my house and took a small vile of blood from me. Everything from there was a blur. They must have used the power of the Phoenix inside me to resurrect his body and then he switched his mind back to its original place. Confusing, I know.

Everyone was glad he returned. He took his position back as Headmaster and let Ororo help with the things he couldn't handle. His mind was weak and he tended to not use his power as much as he used to. The first thing I asked him when he returned was about Scott. Could he do the same with Scott? Could he return as well? Of course, it was too good to be true. His ashes were blown away by the wind of the lake and there was no possible way to retrieve them.

I suddenly heard my name and I snapped back to reality, turning my attention back onto the Professor. He was looking at me and he placed the microphone back in its place. He rolled back to his row next to some students. It was quiet then, all waited for the next speaker. I took a deep breath and stood up, walking over to the wooden podium. I cleared my throat as my eyes scanned everyone. I felt my heart leap in my chest and my throat getting tight. I already wanted to cry. But, I pushed those feelings aside.

I started to speak then.

"I didn't sit down and write some story about Scott Summer's life. I didn't write all the things that have happened between us and what I wished could have happened. It's pointless; I can't go back to those memories anyway. So why bring them up?" I paused then, my green eyes returning to some of the faces. Most were crying, some looked confused. I didn't care though. So I continued…

"Instead, I wrote _my _feelings on this. How _I_ feel about it all." I stopped again, reaching into the pocket of my skirt and pulled out a small folded paper. I opened it up and smoothed it out. Clearing my throat, I started.

"Baby I love you  
You are my life  
My happiest moments weren't complete  
If you weren't by my side  
You're my relation  
In connection to the sun  
With you next to me  
There's no darkness I can't overcome  
You are my raindrop  
I am the seed  
With you and God, who's my sunlight  
I bloom and grow so beautifully  
Baby, I'm so proud  
So proud to be your girl  
You make the confusion  
Go all away  
From this cold and mixed up world"

I took a deep breath, the tears that I could no longer hold back escaped my eyes. I sniffled loudly, sobbing as I continued to speak.

"And I know you love me  
Love me for who I am  
Cause years before I became who I am  
Baby you were my man  
I know it isn't easy  
Easy loving me  
I appreciate the love and dedication  
From you to me  
Later on in my destiny  
I saw myself having your child  
I saw myself being your wife  
And I see my whole future in your eyes  
Thought of all my love for you  
Sometimes it makes me want to cry  
Realize all my blessings  
I'm grateful  
To have had you by my side

Every time I saw your face  
My heart smiled  
Every time it felt so good  
It hurts sometimes  
Created in this world  
To love and to hold  
To feel  
To breathe  
To love you

I am in love with you  
You set me free  
I can't do this thing  
Called life without you here with me  
Cause I'm dangerously in love with you  
I'll never leave  
Just keep loving me  
The way I love you loving me

I'll never leave  
Just keep on loving me  
I'm in love with you  
I cannot do anything without you in my life  
Holding me, kissing me, loving me."

I paused, my eyes making contact with every single soul. I held back no longer. My emotions took me over and I couldn't control it. I was so upset. I kept this all inside for so long and now was the time to finally let it all out. "I love you." I stated simply. I suddenly stomped my foot, shaking my head slowly. "I LOVE YOU!" I yelled a little louder than I expected. I stepped back away from the podium, my body starting to shake uncontrollably. I sobbed loudly, hugging myself with my arms. "I love you, Scott Summers."

And with that, I walked away. Away from everyone. Away from the confusion, the pain, the suffering. I walked away into your arms. I couldn't help it any more, I was dangerously in love.


End file.
